025: Monkey Love In Slow Motion

I find this really cute. That's my 16 years old brother, and his girlfriend. Oh, boy! This pic is taken from his girlfriend's Tagged site (my brother forgot to logged out from the site [he used my lappy]). I browse through the girl's site, and saw more pictures of my bro. My bro left a comment, saying, "My pic lost its way here" and she replied, "No, you're a part of me". I was laughing like crazy!!!

I remembered my first crush. I was in Primary 3 (9 years old), and there's this girl by the name of Nazurah who sat beside me. We were always quarreling, calling each other names and stuff. And I liked her! She was cute and funny. I never dared to confess (yes, I've been a pussy since Pri 3, but that's for another entry) . 6-7 years back I get to know a girl, who happened to know her as well. She said the girl is now a sweet pretty headscarved girl, but sadly, I never get to see her. Even this friend of mine has dissapeared (after I pulled a nasty prank on her), and the next thing I know, she's one of the finalist for The New Paper New Face a few years back!!!! Sigh!! The perils of being young.

My siblings seemed to be lucky in love. Damn, why do I have to be the ugly ones in the family? My parents are good-looking people (hence the good looks on my siblings' faces). I'm the odd one.

I'm really the odd one. I'm the only one who needs extra aid for my vision (contact lens or specs). I'm the only one who listens to extreme music (metal, punk, jazzcore, symphonic, mathematic hardcore, etc). I'm the only who don't eat seafood (yes, even fish!).

But that makes me different and unique! Well, that's not a morale booster afterall. Someone once said to me, "You're dark... Different and unique. They want someone normal. Just be who you are, cause people like you don't come around often." Hmm.... Sugar coated words?

Another one (former classmate) said, "You're the last person that I want to speak to. You look weird, dark, and intimidating." Well, that comment doesn't go down well with me, but it's an honest one. The one that comes from the heart. I can see her reaction when she wanted to tell me that. She was afraid to say it. I'm glad she did.

Time for a change?

Nah!!! I'm too hardcore to be a gay metrosexual freak. Maybe I will when the right one came along. But I'll make sure she accepts me for who I am first!!!

I'm not going down without a fight!!

Errr.... This entry was supposed to be about my brother!!! I've written out of course!!! Maybe because it's 4 A.M, and i'm sleepy....

ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz........

(If there's some spelling errors or stuff like that, sorry!!! I'm half awake!)

024: If I Were a Gangster...

Photo by ~rodney3

There are some who thought that I'm a gangster when they first saw me. Yeah, I don't give good first impression. But heck no! I'm no gangster. And no, I have no tattoos (some ask me this question when they viewed my quiz in Facebook. Do the quiz dammit and find out yourself!!!). I've never read a gangster's blog before. Maybe some of them have one. Never came across it yet. But if I am a gangster, then this is how my blog entry will go...

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Woke up early today (2 in the afternoon). I'm too lazy to wake up this early, but I have work to do. Me and my gang are going to beat up this guy who is flirting with my friend's cousin's classmate's girlfriend. Reached my towel, and when I was about to enter the toilet, my mum nagged non-stop about me not getting a job andd blah blah blah...

Why do I need to find a job? I'm doing great! I get lots of money through robbing the aunties, small kids, and some nerdy weak people who I think I can beat to death. And selling drugs generates a huge income that only those Degree holders can only dream. I looked in the mirror, and hated the empty spaces on my body. Need to get more tattoos. Girls dig guys with tattoos like me (Iqbal's Note: I've been observing this trend for a long time. How come those innocent/sweet looking chicks end up with them?). Will get myself inked when I have the money.

Meet up with my gang at Geylang. The guy that we want to strike works there, in some coffee shop stall. Long story short, beat up the guy, and leave. Then we separate, because some police were patroling the area. Why do the police have to be around? Scares the crap out of me!

Meet up with my bros again at night. We went clubbing, and I tried to score some hoochie-momma there. Bought a girl some drinks, and bring her to the hotel at Geylang to have some fun! Saw some police again, and I tried to look like an innocent bastard. Phew!!! Lucky they didn't stop me. Checked in to the cheapest hotel that I know, and the fun begins!!!

What a great life I'm having!

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Not a life for me. Living my life in fear of the authorities is not in my fucking dictionary.

023: Hellusion

Most probably I'll be there, just to support my friends' band. Don't ask about the other bands. All I know is that it's a metal gig, and every band will be playing metal. For tickets, call/msg me.

I'm feeling so lousy right now (why do my entries have to be depressing always?). I'm yearning for something. A craving that can only be satisfied by a flame. A flame so alluring, yet alien to me.

........ I'll save it for another entry (if I decided to write about it).

022: Thursdays & Fridays

In the canteen, before class starts. Cheese tofu while testing my webcam. :-P

It's seems tough. The module yesterday I mean. Looks like no more last minute studying for me. Today's class was much more laid back. But since yesterday, I felt threatened. My classmates seems to be smart people who should be in a Degree course or something. Guess I'll take it as a challenge. Or maybe I shouldn't take it too seriously. *shrugs* Time will tell. But it was definately interesting. I look forward to classes now.

For those who are working, and planning to take part-time courses, my little advice: If you could choose the modules or days to go to class, try not to take back-to-back. Like Thursday & Friday, or Monday & Tuesday, etc. Go for Monday & Friday. If you have no choice, all the best then. It won't be that difficult. Won't be easy either.

Anyway, two of my classmates from the previous course is in the Thursday class. Won't be that bored maybe. Made a new friend yesterday also. And a few others today.

School will be alright afterall.

021: Back To School (Cheese Tofu, Here I Come!)

Picture by ~mr-poo

Tomorrow I'm going back to school. Same school, different classmates (probably there are some i know from the previous one), different lecturers, different expectations. This term is kind of a last minute thing. Even the days that the class will be held seems awkard. Was supposed to start in July, but decided to go ahead with this term. I just feel the need to rush. And I'm craving for the cheese tofu in the canteen. Hope the sudden turn of event won't distract my studies, work and sleep (yes, sleep).

Been sleeping early for the past few days. Maybe not that early, but still earlier than usual. Even now I'm feeling a bit sleepy (it's 2300 HRS).

I'm hoping for something right now. But don't think I want to hold my eyes any longer.

I don't even know what to do when that something happens. So yeah, sleeping is a good option now.

020: Frustration Going Up To The Max

Photo by =asesinatuya

Life is not the way it used to be. Expectations running high. It won't stop running. I've been giving chase, leaving people around me. Then I find myself in a place where nothing else matters at all. Thought it was a place for me. I was definately wrong. But I just can't... I won't acknowledge it. I underestimate the risk. Overconfident. I hit and missed. Overconfidence.

So I went back, to people I have left behind. I've been gone for far too long. Afraid that they won't remember me at all. Some of them still do surprisingly. But they are all up so high, and I'm still at the bottom. Ironically, they live up to their dreams and expectations by staying there, while I was running away, chasing. Was I supposed to come back with glory? Seems I went the wrong way.

Now I'm struggling. It's getting more difficult each passing day. Now nobody will even look at me. Why would they? I'm a piece of trash, waiting for the cleaner to sweep me up. But I won't let him. I'll have myself placed in the recycling bin.

They can just wait. I'm coming my way. I'll have them know. And I'll give them something... Something to hold on to so they will not make me scrape from the bottom of the deep hole. I'll expose myself, and all I've witheld will come up to the surface.

019: Before "Cats: The Musical", There's "Aksi Mat Yoyo"!!!!

Note: The title of this entry was originally by Hafiz Bastard via Facebook.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjj2WNiSOIc

("Aksi Mat Yoyo" was a children's programme by the then Singapore Broadcasting Corporation (SBC, now called Mediacorp as you all know). I was a fan when I was just 2 years old!)